Dreams and Sacrifice, an unfinished painting...

Well it’s 4:00 in the morning and I’m not sleeping, I have been lying here for the last hour, just thinking, not sleeping.  My brain wont shut down long enough for me to get some rest.  I’ve a lot on my mine as of late regarding dreams and sacrifice, and when to say uncle.

It’s been a year to the week since I decided to follow my dream of being an Artist. 

I have to admit it’s been an amazing time in my life.  A time of expression and freedom, but of sacrifice as well.

When I walked, or should I say ran away from the confines of the nine to five, I knew I would be trading some privileges for others.  

My lack of income was one of the hardest factors to factor in my new life style. 

I could no longer afford the luxury of excess, which meant my car had to go, so I let it go. 

There would be no more whimsy purchases like cute cowboy boots, or that amazing jacket

 that I just have to have. 

I’ve learned there is no such thing as "have to have"

 unless it’s more paints.

I traded my luxuries for my dreams. 

In this last year I have met the most amazing group of people, 

I have become a member of a tribe, a tribe of dreamers and creators.

I guess that’s why I’m not sleeping; I don’t want to give this all up, 

but I feel like I’m at another crossroads. 

I’ve given this “full time artist thing” a year of my life, as well as a year of my family’s life. 

And let me tell you my family has been great, they are my biggest fans.

But hard cold reality is that dreams don’t pay the bills; food, heat, and power are not luxuries.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not destitute by any means, although things have gotten tight over the winter.   This time of the year is always slow in my husbands business, but as spring approaches, we have always been able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. 

I guess this one-year mark has hit me pretty hard.  I don’t know what I expected to happen when I started on this journey.  I guess I just thought I’d be further along at this point.

I’ve had such great success in selling my art when I’ve been able to get my work out there in an Art Festival setting.  But the reality of that is that these festivals are not free and it seems I’m only making enough money to pay for supplies and the next festival.

I had hoped to have some kind of a licensing deal by now, and even though I have sent out over fifty art submissions, I’ve only received rejections so far. 

Maybe I need to send out a hundred more?

When I started this journey it was not about the money, it was about how my art made me feel and how it touched others, that’s one thing I will never sacrifice, not for any amount of luxury.

I guess at this point I need to readjust, revaluate, revisit the reasons why I started on this journey in the first place.

I guess right now I just feel like an unfinished painting,
 just waiting for the creator to finish.

x0x0x

Connecting the dots!!!

It's funny when I was a kid I loved doing "dot to dot's"/"connect the dots", I was amazing at it.  I could always look at all those dots and see the picture before I even started.

So when someone tells you, "all you need to get by in this world, you learned in kindergarten", well maybe there's some truth to that statement.

Because today I looked at all those dream dots of mine, and they all started coming together to make an amazing picture.

As you may know I have been taking an e-course, "Hello Soul, Hello Business", presented by Kelly Rae Roberts and Beth Nicholls.  This class has been helping me think outside of the box.  It's helping me reinvent the wheel, and I tell you what,  I am painting my wheel pink with white poke a dots!!!

It's so rejuvenating to my soul
a fresh way of looking at
 CREATING and SHARING and LEARNING, oh my!!

All this creative buzz has got me to thinking, 

"WHAT IF"

So let me present to you some background on my what if idea:

At the last Art Festival I participated in I tried something a little new.

I offered to do personalized paintings for my customers,

 I got three orders!!

Wow!!

One of the first one's I did was for a sweet lady named Suzie.
She gave me a picture of her daughter and a list of her
favorite things, as well as some of her
daughters original art work, and this is what I came
up with:

If you look in the left hand corner, you'll see some of her daughters art
work that I attached to the picture.
I named this picture:
"Sweet Tart"
That is the nick name Suzie has for her daughter.
Suzie loved the picture!!
I also painted a picture as a "Thank You", for one of my
favorite Artist.
Laurie Grimshaw-Cox
http://epiphaniesofanartgirl.blogspot.com/
She's such a great lady and teacher.

This is my interpretation of Laurie

I think she looks great in angel wings!!!


Just a couple of weeks ago a friend contacted me on facebook.
She had seen my work, and wanted me to paint a picture of each of her daughter.

Jordan the oldest is turning "16" and Alexa is having a birthday in May.

This one is for Alexa's May birthday:

This one is still a work in progress, it needs some finishing touches.

It's not due till May, so I still have time to finish.

I've even had a special requests to paint a couple of  

Trailers.

Yes, I said "Trailers"

As you know I love to paint 

"Trailers"

Here's just a couple I did:

So when my dear sweet friend, Diane Cook saw then

she contacted me with a special request.

To paint her a picture of her trailer.

So that's just what I did, she sent me a picture and a few

requests, like flamingos and the

"Hot Springs or Bust" saying.

This is what I came up with:

She loved it so much, she ordered one for her brother for Christmas.

 I can't tell you how flattering it is to have an amazing Artist like Diane Cook,

http://rosa-josies.blogspot.com/

ask you for some of your art work.  

I tell you I was over the moon!!

Talk about being over the moon, another amazing Jewelry artist, Denise Petersen,

http://reinventedobjects.blogspot.com/

has asked me to paint a picture of her daughter, Nichole.

She got me a picture and gave me a few guide lines regarding

color and theme.

She wanted the picture to have a Paris theme, one of Nichole's favorite places:

This is what I have so far, she is a work in progress:

I am loving this Personalized Painting!!

So there it is , my "ah-ha" moment.

I have decided to offer 

"Personalized Paintings"

as part of my Artistic Business.

Believe it or not this "Ah-Ha" moment is big for me.

If it had been a snake it would have bit me, I know, but I just didn't see it until now.

So this is me connecting the dots!!!
It took me a little long, but it's been awhile since I was in kindergarten.
Well, I'm off to see if I can connect some more dream dot's!!!
x0x0x

Handling criticism...

Well I'll give it to you straight, I don't think I handle
criticism of my work to well.


Today a good friend of mine contacted me with the following e-mail:

Debbie,

See comments below. Mark the "Friend" art director showed your work around'

to a number of people. 

They made comments.

Mixed reviews, but reading it I was more encourages for you that not.

The comments about eyes, etc, are helpful if you decided to modify

your technique somewhat to fit them.

I think they could use you sometime, but it is a constant effort to "sell" them, so

if you want, put them on a follow yup in 2 months with something new.

I also think we could send you to the New Era. 

I'll do that next, by calling my friend Brent and let you know what he says.

Scott, I sent Debbie's blog link around. Here are the comments from the staff (editors and designers):

---

It's a bit Frida Kahlo-esque for me.

---

The bright colors and whimsical feel would probably catch the eye of our readers, but I don't think this would fit in with the type of art that kids expect (and love) from our magazine. Specifically, the intentional distortions in the facial features that characterize this art create a tone that is attention-grabbing, but not comforting. It seems like some of the feedback we've received about our art indicates that children like the more realistic art that reflects an idealized version of a familiar life.

That being said, if we tried it anywhere I think it would have to be for the tween section. I can see some older girls really liking it.

---

I'm not a fan.

---

I like everything about it except the faces. 

---

I like the general look of the art but there are some things that bother me like the eyes being to big and too high on the forehead. Those flaws make the work somewhat unappealing to me. But I bet she would take art direction and the problem could be ameliorated.

---

It's bright and fun, but I don't think it has the right feel for the Friend.

---

Scott, I think Debbie's work would resonate more with the young-to-mid teens. It might work in the Friend for the right project. Have her email me when she posts new stuff to her site and we'll keep her in mind.

Thanks, hope this helps.

Mark 

Although the reviews were not to harsh, I have to admit they 

stung a bit.  

It took a lot of courage for me to start showing my work, 

and when I did I was rewarded with such great feedback.

That rewarding feedback is what kept me going, kept me creating.  

It fed my confidence and strengthened my resolve to continue, 

to seek out my dream of being and ARTIST.

The timing of this review is just amazing.  

I have been participating in the e-course:

"HELLO SOUL, HELLO BUSINESS"

http://kellyraeroberts.com/hello-soul-hello-business

created by Kelly Rae Roberts and Beth Nicholls.

We are starting our second week and the course so far has been 

AMAZING!!!!

Today we talked about our 

"WHO"

Who do you want to do business with?

Who do you want your customers to be?

Well in order to understand "WHO" we want to connect with, we need 

to connect with ourselves.

I love this idea and concept, so when I got the above mentioned e-mail from

my friend, I immediately started to ask myself the above questions.

 In doing this I knew instantly these people were not my 

"WHO".

They were not who I wanted to do business with, they didn't get me.

I want my work to be joyful, happy and express a positive message.

And I want my "WHO", to be those kind of people who also

want to be joyful, happy and positive.

I want to watch my "WHO" look at my ART, 

and then watch the SMILE that slowly spreads across

their face, because it has touched their soul.

So with all that being said I returned the following e-mail reply:

Hello Scott,

Thanks for giving it a try with the "Friend".  At this time I have to say that I like my art just the way it is.  Although I appreciate the feed back, I find that these types of comments only strengthen my reserve to "stay true to me."

I do so very much appreciate your enthusiasm and generosity in trying to help me.  If you would like to send it off Brent, I would not be apposed.

Thanks again!!!!

After I sent this reply I felt so empowered!!

Like it was "OK",

I have the right to voice my opinion, on how much I 

love and enjoy my work!!

I love every last funny looking face, and oversized eyes that grace 

my canvases.

Now I truly understand the coined phrase:

"Art is in the eye of the beholder"

With that said, I'll tell you I like what I am beholding!!!

Dear sweet friends thanks so much for listening to my rantings.
And thank you even more for your sweet friendship!!
xoxox

Things are happening over here!!!

Boy oh Boy,

I've got the creative fever!!

Just look at this commissioned painting,

My dear sweet friend of many years contacted me on Sunday and this is the finished 

product on Monday!!

The painting is for her daughters 16th birthday.

I had so much fun painting this little girlie, 

that I just could not stop.

It all came along very quickly,

second a little drizzling and a sketch

next a little more paint

just waiting for a smile and some pretty eyes

I just don't know what has gotten into me!!

It feels GREAT!!

This little girlie will be delivered in February, 

and I'm working on a second one for her other daughter.

That one is not due till May but I'm already 

half way done.

(I'll share that one with you another day)

I am loving this creative little beast that has taken over my creative soul.

I have missed her!!

Maybe it's because of the e-course that I have been waiting

for has finally started.

The course is called:

"Hello Soul, Hello Business"

http://kellyraeroberts.blogspot.com/

What an amazing course!!

I'm only two days into it and I have already seen big changes.

Changes in my Soul, 

and in my Creative Spirit!!

I thought I had lost my little creative spirit,

"Tootsie"

But she was there along, just waiting for me 

to remember the, 

"Why and the What"

all this creating is about!!!

This is how I always want to feel, 

just to GROOVY, for words.

I need to  remember to let myself out to play,

to wander, question and grow.

It's OK to be happy and enjoy life.

It's OK to be all that you dreamed you could be!!

That's my wish to you my friends!!

Now run along and play!!

x0x0x

Pressto-Change-O!!!

Well here she is my girlie with her red balloon!!

And I'm here to tell you she did not come easy.

She stated out as and idea.  

I wanted to paint red balloon.

I had a picture in my mind and tried to put it down on paper, 

and this is what I came up with...

Hated It!!

No matter how I tried I just could not find any love for this little girlie.

I gave her a whole week to grow on me and still, nothing!

So I got my tub of spackling out and made her go away.

Although she was gone my vision of a red balloon wasn't.

So I started again.

I drizzled some paint and sketched an outline.

My girlie began to emerge pretty quickly after that.

I liked where this painting was going, so much so I went outside and gave her a 

coat of spray sealant.

But no sooner had I started to spray, than the previous painting outline started bleeding through.

This was quite aggravating as well as exciting for me.

First off I was aggravated, because the marker I used to outline my first painting was 

bleeding right though.

But secondly I was thrilled, because I finally found a marker worth the money I spent for it!!

The bleed through was right in the middle of my girlie's face.  

So I got my gesso out and painted over the whole face.  

As soon as that dried I started over with a fresh coat of flesh tone.

The gesso did the trick, no bleeding marker, it was all gone.

But once I started putting on the finishing touches of blush to the cheeks, 

something else happened.

I started to get streaking, blotching and uneven color.

So I took out my sand paper, sanded down the ridges and grooves left 

by the gesso and started over again.

It took me three tries to get this far. 

 I had to keep sanding those ridges,

 (note to self always sand gesso before you start painting)

Finally got an even skin tone, yea!!

All that was needed was some lips and freckles.

And there you have it the final product!!!

Although she was a lot of work and very aggravating at times, 

I do have to say that I am very happy with her!

It's funny how this one little painting can mimic life.  

I began to look back over a few of my other paintings, 

and realized this little girlie disaster was not my first.

There was this one...

It was the eyes, I couldn't get past those alien eyes, and that freaky looking lamb.

So I tuned her into...

This transformation also made me very happy!!

So I guess the motto to my story is:

Stick with it, keep trying, step back take a deep breath,

then get right back in there and create!

x0x0x

A little of this and that.

I've been feeling a little restless with my painting lately, 

Sometime I have to just walk away when I'm not feeling it and try something

different.
Like sewing.

I have always had a passion for sewing.

So I whipped up a couple of wall hangings.

I liked the look of my "free heart" painting so much,  I thought I'd give it a try in fabric

and free motion sewing.

This wall hanging I call simply,

 "Sing"

Again free motion sewing with my machine.

After I finished my wall hangings I got to thinking, maybe these hangers 

would make cute throw pillows.

With that in mind I tried out some more sewing.

I came up with four pillow cases that will be getting pillow fillers 

and button closures tomorrow.

Wouldn't you know after all this I still feel like something is just not clicking with me?

I guess that's just part of life in general.

We can't always be on stage, playing out our part, 

sometimes we just need to sit in the audience and enjoy life's performance.

Well I better get going I'm on in five,

dinner time!!

Thanks for letting me share my ramblings, it's very therapeutic!!

Remember to share your greatness with others!!

Much love!!

x0x0x0x

Feel the ENERGY!!

I have to tell you that I am just a buzz with ENERGY!!

I love the feel of a clean slate and fresh new start!!!

The world is my oyster and I am that shinny little pearl, destine for 

GREATNESS!!!

That is my word for 2012

GREATNESS!!!

I think we all have greatness in us that we don't even know about.  

That we have not even begun to tap into.

I want to take the time and opportunity this year to discover my greatness.

I want each stroke of my paintbrush to convey a heartfelt message.

I want to world to know that I am a TREASURE, and that I have much to share.

I want to DARE to be all that I can be!!

I want to feel the wind in my hair, maybe even a bug or two in my teeth.

I want to make all my dreams and wishes come true!!

I want to set my goals high because I can achieve anything I put my mind, heart and soul too.

So my dear friends take a minute to find your joy and share it!!

Let possibilities fill your hearts..

and 

adventure stir your souls!!

x0x0x

debbie