I know it's been a while since my last blog update. I have no excuses but to say, I've been a little discouraged as of late. I haven't been able to get to a lot of creating, due to eye surgery. All that down time gave my mind time to runaway with itself, when it returned it brought unwanted house guest, by the name of self doubt, discouragement and frustration.
I guess I should start at the beginning to make more sense of the matter. I have been a little hard on myself lately. Frustrated because after four months of hard, although it be enjoyable work, I'm still not a world wide success. That's right believe it or not after all my soulful creative work, not one literary agent or licensing deal has come my way. And mind you its not for my lake of creating or waiting.
I've made myself available, started a blog, went and signed up for Facebook, sent e-mails to all of my friends, other artists and still opportunity did not come knocking.
But frustration, self doubt and discouragement dropped by and they really seem to be enjoying their visit. They get great satisfaction out of taking advantage of me. I want them to leave but to say so would be bad manners. Its like we've been condition to be polite at all time. So when unexpected guest show up needing a place to stay we politely offer up our time, space and energy to these unwanted guests. These guests have a tendency to be loud, disruptive and down right rude. Not to mention I caught one of them drinking out of the milk carton!
Well NO MORE, I'm not having it, its time my guest hit the road.
Its time to be kind to me, to tell myself its "OK", just keep trying. Remember Rome wasn't built in a day, or so the saying goes. I need to keep my creativity going as an outlet, a place to enjoy and express. I want to use my art as a vehicle to meet other artist who share common interests. I need to travel the journey of creativity for me.
My creativity should be like planting a little seedling, it needs to be nurtured. It needs the rain for water to help it grow. Sometime it maybe stormy, but the seedling will remain strong and steadfast because after the storm comes the sun.
I know one day come rain or shine, my creativity will keep growing reaching higher, branching out further. My leaves will dance with joy on the soft morning breeze. I will continue to grow sturdy and strong, offering shelter and shade for any inspiring idea, that may come along. I'll share my beauty with all those who surround me, swaying with grace and rhythm.
Although that's the way I want things to go, its not always so, and that's "OK". I took a moment and browsed the blogs of my favorite artist and bloggers, and found the emotions I was having were not so uncommon. That at times we all battle doubt, discouragement and frustration. I realized that I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and start creating.
I will embraced all the beauty that surrounds me and hold it tight. I will put it in my pocket to have with me always.
Now onward and upward!!