Saturday, August 13, 2011

True feelings....

A couple a days ago I posted about the things I was grateful for and it felt great.  I noticed that it has been a little hard for me to share some of my emotions lately.   I sometimes wonder how much is to much, and how do I share without being overwhelming to my friends.
I find myself escaping in my paintings lately, running away from blogging due to all the emotions swirling around in my head and heart.  So I sat down yesterday and tried to write a post but just couldn't get started so I decided to brows a couple of my fav's and I could not believe how the messages touched my heart.

I read sweet  Chezabee's creations http://creatingchezabee.blogspot.com and so much loved her open heart, sweet spirit and love of adventure.  She was sharing without the restraint that I have been feeling lately, and it made me smile.  She was even doing a Lavender Scent Pouch giveaway, all while in the process of preparing for a trip to Africa.  Wow what an inspiration she is to me, thanks!!!

I also came across a lovely quote that made me smile.

"Rediscover you.  Admire yourself more often. You are as beautiful as your heart remembers."

I found this quote on Jenni Horne's blog http://jennihorne.blogspot.com  I loved the "you are beautiful" writing on the overpass.  It's true sometimes the answer to your problems are staring you right in the face but you just don't see it.

I continued to surf many more blog and realized that I wasn't alone out there in this world of uncertainty and confusion.  I picked myself up and went to the book store and spent my birthday gift card given to me by one of my daughters.  I purchased the latest issue of "Artful Blogging", and the minute I started reading I was blown away by all the emotion in each blogger's posts and interviews.

All of this touched me so deeply I decided to sit down and give myself another shot at a new post that was from my heart.

In the last month my eldest daughter has moved to Oregon with her husband and my sweet little grandson, Jackson.

The move was something that needed to be done to further her career and provide for their family.  I'm happy for them and this little adventure that  has presented it's self to them.  What better place to move to than Oregon, it has it all.  But since the move I have found that it is possible to live with a gaping hole in your heart. I miss them all so much that I find myself tearing up at the strangest times, like when I see a little child in the grocery store giving its parents fits, or when I'm out gardening and I miss my little helper.

As the days go by things are getting better, I chat with them every day via Skyp, (wow how technology has changed our lives) I send them my love and know that their only a phone call away!!

And now just this week my middle child, my other daughter has also moved to Oregon to be with her sister and to help out with the baby.  I'm so thrilled for her that she is able to take advantage of this amazing opportunity to travel and start new adventures in her life.  But at the same time I'm sad to have her gone as well.  I miss the bubbly energy that follows her where ever she goes.  But again we have Skyp and her sister really needs her now.

I seem to have a lot more time on my hands as of late, so I decided to go to college to get a degree in Art Therapy.  I'm a bit nervous about going to college, I've never been before and its been 27 years since I graduated from high school.   I feel very strongly about how Art can save ones mind and soul.  After my many surgeries and hospital stays I found that Art helped me recover and become the person that I always know I could be.  Art helped me find truth and joy in my life, and I know it can do that for others as well.  Again another big step and new adventure for me.

I know I'm blessed with and amazing life and family, and now I can smother my son with all my attention, I just know he's looking forward to that, having his mother all up in his business.  My sweet husband is just beside himself sometimes with my wild emotions and he tries so hard to be supportive and loving, and he is doing a great job.  I know I should give him more credit and praise, but I like being babied by him sometimes.  He's the best, I love him sky-full's!!
 I sure appreciate all my fellow bloggers out there who help encourage and enlighten with their sweet comments on my blog.   The other day I was feeling a little down about the direction or lack there of direction, that my Art work was taking.  I began to doubt myself and my Art.  I wandered if these little paintings of my meant anything to anyone but me?  And then it happens, I take a look at my Etsy shop and see that I have a sold order for one of my prints.  So, I guess the answer is "Yes".  After that order I went and face my art with a fresh point of view knowing that some where out there my Art has touch someone and moved them in a special way.

I must say I am grateful for this blog and all the opportunities it gives be to express myself.

Wow, that sharing thing wasn't so bad, better than a trip to the dentist but just as nerve racking.

Thank you all for being such an important part of my crazy life!!

Debbie
x0x
"She had many wishes."

3 comments:

Miss Sandy said...

Thank you for a glimpse into your deepest soul. Life adjustments are never easy but they can lead us to other opportunities we would never have had otherwise. I wish you many blessings and success on your new journey in college. Your art is beautiful!!!

carlanda brown williamson said...

i love your blog! i go thru phases like that, and i doubt it all. somehow it all comes back around just like it is supposed to be! thank you for your sweet note about my blog. i just write whatever pops in my little brain! i am a follower of yours and look forward to more. i love your artwork, by the way! xo carlanda

Diana said...

HiDebbie,
I just wanted to let you know that I have been lurking on your blog for a little while now. After reading your last post I decided to let you know how much I enjoy your blog. I go through those same feelings you do. I also get so discouraged when I see others soo professional blogs and then look at my humble,typo ridden blog and consider giving it all up.
The art therapy career you have decided to go after is awesome. I thought about it too.
Please keep blogging. I love your blog and your artwork too. Please come visit me.

Diana

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